You Know You're Married to a Writer When...
1. You begin to associate deadlines with pizza.
2. Your children learn to forage and do laundry before the age of five.
3. You're greeted with the Atomic Death Glare when asking spouse to predict the year's income.
4. You've been brainwashed into thinking of long walks, bookstore runs, vacant stares, and long intervals of computer solitaire as "work."
5. You're not at all freaked to find spouse using flashlight to take notes by bedside after a round of you-know-what.
6. You aren't sure if you own an ironing board.
7. "Vacations" are suspiciously timed to coincide with writers' conferences.
8. You don't find it unusual when spouse shakes you awake to ask if you'd find it plausible if dead body's fingers popped off after being slammed by the trunk lid of a '94 Buick.
9. The only royalty you bow and scrape to comes in an envelope.
10. You've learned you can get your spouse to agree to most anything while she's in a writing trance... but don't expect her to remember later.
Okay, writers. For the sake of our long-suffering spouses out there, what would you add to the list?