You Know You're Married to a Writer When...

1. You begin to associate deadlines with pizza.

2. Your children learn to forage and do laundry before the age of five.

3. You're greeted with the Atomic Death Glare when asking spouse to predict the year's income.

4. You've been brainwashed into thinking of long walks, bookstore runs, vacant stares, and long intervals of computer solitaire as "work."

5. You're not at all freaked to find spouse using flashlight to take notes by bedside after a round of you-know-what.

6. You aren't sure if you own an ironing board.

7. "Vacations" are suspiciously timed to coincide with writers' conferences.

8. You don't find it unusual when spouse shakes you awake to ask if you'd find it plausible if dead body's fingers popped off after being slammed by the trunk lid of a '94 Buick.

9. The only royalty you bow and scrape to comes in an envelope.

10. You've learned you can get your spouse to agree to most anything while she's in a writing trance... but don't expect her to remember later.

Okay, writers. For the sake of our long-suffering spouses out there, what would you add to the list?


Terry Blain said…
One of the writers in my critique group was writing a western historical and had the heroine pull the levis off the unconscious injured hero. Another of the group questioned how difficult this might be. So when I went home and found my husband wearing his 501 button levis, told him to lay on the bed and it wasn’t hard at all to unbutton his pants, and then grab on the bottom of the legs and easily pull his pants off. His only comment was “That’s it? Nothing more?” Sorry, just an experiment for writing tonight.

escape to the past with a romantic adventure...
Suzan Harden said…
LOL - since my spousal comment leans into the R bordering on NC-17category, I'll stick to the kid.

You know your parent's a writer when you shove the laptop into her hands and say, "Mommy, you need to go to the coffee shop and write. You're too grumpy."
jbrayweber said…
Too cute! And soooo true!
Funny thing. It's pizza here tonight! And you know why.

I'd add one... when you can't sit on the couch because it's covered with important paperwork and books. And, sorry, it's gonna be there for another day or two.

Excellent post!
boxing said…
LOL on the Levis experiment. Sounds like something I'd do.

My son was a fast learner, too, in that dept. It's a survival instinct!

Glad you stopped by, Jennifer & Nancy! Thanks for the kind words.
Too funny! And very true.

What would I add? You get your head snapped off when you stick it in the office to ask what's for dinner.

The dust bunnies make Chubacka look like an Ewok.
Anonymous said…
LOL! Since I writer erotica, my husband would add you know you're married to a writer when she asks about weird sexual positions--like are they possible--then has no intention of finding out.
P.J. Mellor
Christie Craig said…
You know you are married to a writer when . . .

Dates out involve trips to bookstores to sign books.

When she come to bed late every night, claims she's in love with a new hero, and you aren't jealous.
Becca Simone said…
What a fun blog. I think I'll follow this one. :)

I agree with everything already said--love the one from the erotic writer. My husband could totally commiserate. LOL

I'll add on to the comment about dust bunnies: you know you're married to a writer when you mention "dust bunnies" when someone asks what kind of pets do you own.

And, you know you're married to a writer when you almost start believing the statement, "It's not about the money, honey."

These are great fun. Keep 'em coming!
Laura in Texas said…
That was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. (Truth often spawns the most humor, doesn't it?)
TJ Bennett said…
You know you're married to a ROMANCE writer when you get to help her with her research but she keeps complaining because the keyboard keeps sliding off your butt.

:-) Sorry, the oldies but goodies still work.

Hi, Laura. Thanks for stopping by!

And LOL, TJ! I haven't heard that one.

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